Dr. Singh: Hello, everyone! I'm Dr. Singh, Gaia's resident biologist and evolving item expert, and this is my excitable little sidekick, Timmy. It's great to be back! If this is your first evolving item report, I should probably fill you in a little: a while back, Timmy was exposed to some toxic waste and began to mutate. Eventually, he became strange and violent, and attempted to eat my arm and control my brain.
Dr. Singh: Yep! We've been undergoing some intense medical treatment for the past couple of weeks, courtesy of our good friend Labtech Gene. We'll let him give you the full details later, but for now, let's get down to business. You ready, Timmy?
Timmy: You betcha! It's what I was born to do!
Dr. Singh: We have a sizeable update this week, with five different items evolving. One of our newest evolving items, the Enchanted Book, is beginning its transformation. It seems to be growing in power this week, and my best guess is that its magic will bring the indecipherable tales written on its pages into reality. I can't wait to see what it has in store...
Timmy: Me neither! And books with pictures are the best kinda books, too! Right, Doc?
Dr. Singh: Of course. On a more serious note, the White Drome Egg continues to be a cause for concern... the creature inside seems to be reaching full maturity, and it doesn't look terribly domesticated. I certainly hope it's housebroken, at least.
Timmy: I pretty much am, at this point!
Dr. Singh: Congratulations. Oh, you'd better cover your ears for this one, Timmy: Alruna's Rose is continuing to evolve this week. While it diverted into cuter territory recently with its bat form, it's now developing into a flirtatious little nymph and a fairly revealing item of clothing!
Labtech Gene: Forgive me for interrupting, Dr. Singh, but YOW!
Dr. Singh: Some more great news: owners of the DandiiDooDad Spore are in for a treat this week. It's one of our more gradually-changing items, but it's finally reached its final stage! The little spore-creature now sports an adorable dandelion mane, and all previous poses of the item have been unlocked. And as for our last evolution... well... Timmy, you want to handle this one?
Timmy: Sure, Doc! I know you're not comfortable talkin' about this, so lemme do the honors: the Orindae just keeps on growin', and... hey, waitaminute! Where'd it go? It's like it just kinda disappeared in a poof of green stuff...
Dr. Singh: This bodes ill, Timmy. In other news, the sixth generation of the Pantheracorax Agate has now completed its evolution. And that's just about it for this week's report, but we should still let Labtech Gene fill us in on how our surgery went. So, what's the story?
Labtech Gene: I'm pleased to report that everything went pretty well, mostly. As you can see, Timmy's been extracted from your arm and your mind, his mutations have been dramatically reversed, your arm seems to be healing well, and all the toxic chemicals in both of your bodies have been neutralized. For the most part, I'd consider this a pretty big success. Mostly.
Timmy: What's all this "mostly" stuff, science guy? I'm feelin' swell, and the Doc's lookin' just as beautiful as ever.
Dr. Singh: Is there something you haven't told us?
Labtech Gene: Well... hmm. How can I explain this. Uhh, you know how there was some part of Timmy that was causing him to want to eat you, take of your mind, destroy humanity, et cetera?
Timmy: Yep! All gone, right?
Labtech Gene: Yeah, I managed to completely remove that part.
Dr. Singh: Great! So... what's the problem?
Labtech Gene: Well... that part of Timmy... let's call it the evil part... I'm not really sure where it is. I think it... escaped.
Dr. Singh: So you mean to tell me that this part of Timmy was an actual, discrete physical thing, and it's now wandered off somewhere beyond our control?
Labtech Gene: Jeez, look at the time... I guess we'd better wrap this thing up, folks! Uhh... come back next week for more exciting news about evolving items and whatnot...
Dr. Singh: Hey! I'm the host! |